


Love Drunk

by epiclifeinruins



Series: Pick Your Poison [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: About emotions and stuff, And Ren wants to talk, And things get heated, But a little bit angsty, Gen, Hux has a hangover, Hux is not amused, In Public, They're both being total dicks basically, not so fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-11 17:31:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7062667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epiclifeinruins/pseuds/epiclifeinruins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Ren is desperate to talk and Hux is desperate to get away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Drunk

**Author's Note:**

> So, since some of you guys were asking for this: here's the sequel to "In Vino Veritas".  
> This one does not have the usual fluff and crack that I tend to write. But fear not.  
> The fluffy crack shall return! This is quite different from what I've written before but I  
> hope that you guys will enjoy it anyway! 
> 
> Here we go then.

Hux woke up, tangled in his sheets, with a throbbing pain pressing hard against his forehead and temples. His tongue felt as though it was covered in bantha fur and his eyes like they were two pieces of burning coal lodged in his skull. He groaned as he slowly sat up in the bed. One glance at the chrono on his bedside table informed him that he was expected to report for duty on the bridge in two hours. 

Regretting every single decision that he had made the night before, Hux swung his legs over the side of the bed. He was about to get to his feet when he caught sight of something on the table, beside the chrono. 

A glass of water.

Hux had no memory of placing that glass there. Although, to be honest, he had almost no memory of anything that had occurred the night before. He did remember leaving the staff party with a bottle of brandy, trying to find a place where he could be alone. Hux had never enjoyed parties or any other form of social interaction that took place off duty. He always felt annoyed and cornered in those situations and all he wanted when he found himself in them was to get away as quickly as he could. So he had staggered away, making his way down one of the Finalizer’s many corridors to find a nice, secluded spot where he could get shitfaced in peace. There his memories ended. Or at least he thought so, because suddenly an image of a pair of hazel eyes appeared in his mind.

Ren. 

He had been there. Barging in like he always did, and naturally showing no respect for personal space. Fragments of memories began to appear as Hux searched his mind more thoroughly. He remembered Ren catching him as he almost fell. That Ren had been sitting next to him. And something about the size of his hands. And Ren’s. 

Hux’s eyes snapped open. 

Kisses. 

He recalled something about kisses. Hux felt as though all the blood in his body rushed up into his face. His cheeks were burning and the pounding in his head had increased significantly. He tried desperately to remember more details from the night before, but the rest of it was a blur. He was, however, almost positive that he himself had not placed the glass of water on the table. Ren must have helped him back to his quarters somehow. Hux rubbed his face with his hands and groaned again. How could he have allowed himself to get that inebriated? He never lost control. Ever. But last night had been different. He had been almost desperate to clear his mind from all thoughts of anything. Seeking the numbing effect of alcohol, Hux had managed to rid himself of all his troubles. Along with his self-control, it seemed. 

Out of pure spite, Hux grabbed the glass of water from the table, walked into the refresher, poured the contents of the glass into the sink, turned on the tap and refilled it with fresh water. He then drank it in two large gulps. He filled the glass a second time and drank from it again. When he had finished, he took off his briefs and undershirt, trying to not think about how his uniform had been removed the night before, and stepped into the shower. Turning it down to the coldest temperature he could endure, Hux stood under the nearly freezing water until his skin was almost burning from the cold. After 15 minutes, his headache had subsided and he felt revived. 

He was used to hangovers, but it had been quite some time since he had experienced one this bad. After brushing his teeth for about 8 minutes, he dressed more slowly than usual, fumbling a bit when trying to close his uniform jacket, cursing under his breath. Before he left his quarters, he swallowed a couple of pain killers to further relieve his headache. With a deep sigh, Hux then made his way to the command bridge, sincerely hoping that he wouldn’t run into one specific individual on his way there. 

***  
Of course, it didn’t take long before Hux did run into that specific individual.

He nearly collided with Ren as he rounded the corner of the Finalizer’s main corridor. Hux immediately got the feeling that Ren had been looking for him, or even worse: that he had been on his way to Hux’s quarters. The thought of this almost made Hux break out in cold sweat, and he felt himself panicking slightly as he stared at Ren’s ridiculous helmet. Hux was hoping that Ren would keep walking, but as soon as he saw Hux he came to an immediate halt. 

The corridor was full of stormtroopers and other personnel, and the last thing Hux wanted was for his crew to have front row seats to whatever spectacle he was almost certain that Ren was about to start.

Hux barely had time to finish this thought before Ren had positioned himself in front of him, far too close and far too eagerly.

“Good morning, General.” Ren said, his affectionate tone clearly audible despite the voice modulator in his helmet. It was so distinct that it made two passing engineers stop dead in their tracks and stare at them, mouths gaping.

Hux had to fight the urge to pull his blaster from his holster and shoot Ren right on the spot. Instead, he let his anger and frustration out on the two engineers. 

“Don’t stand there loitering, you imbeciles!” he barked, as soon as he noticed them staring. “Get back to your posts!” 

The two men flinched at the sound of Hux’s voice and scurried away, almost tripping over each other in the process. 

Hux glared at them as they hurried down the corridor, clenching his fists and breathing heavily through his nose. He found himself regretting, very passionately, that he ever got out of bed this morning.

“How are you feeling today?”

Hux jumped as Ren spoke a second time, the same obvious hint of affection still colouring his deep voice. Hux would have been more than willing to chop off one of his limbs to get rid of Ren at that moment. 

But, since dismembering himself would not actually improve his current situation, Hux chose to give Ren a tired, but annoyed stare.

“I feel fine, Ren. Although, I’m not sure what that has got to do with anything.” he said, desperately trying not to give in to his urge to turn around and bolt like a terrified animal. “I really don’t have time for small talk,” he continued, “I have to get to the bridge now, so if you’ll excuse me…”. He took a few steps to the side in order to walk past Ren.

Hux wanted to sink through the deck floor and disappear into nothingness when Ren moved in front of him in one long stride, blocking his way. 

“Could I talk to you? In private?” Ren asked, “Please?” he added as he placed his hand on Hux’s lower arm. 

Hearing Ren say that word, in such a soft, begging way, stirred something inside Hux. Something that felt like a craving. A craving for intimacy which he suddenly remembered feeling the night before. Hux suppressed it immediately. Or at least he tried. 

Desperately hoping that no one else in the corridor had noticed the fact that Kylo Ren was just inches away from actually taking his hand, Hux glared threateningly at Ren.

“Let go of my arm, Ren.” he hissed. 

It didn’t take many seconds for Hux to realize what he had said and for the memories to come flooding back into his mind. He had said those exact words the previous night as Ren had grabbed his arm to keep him from falling over. Hux was suddenly seeing images of himself hanging over Ren’s arm, limp and pathetic, with Ren’s huge hands around his waist helping him to stand up straight again. Images of Ren sitting next to him, saying things. Sentimental things. Hux reaching out to touch Ren’s face. Ren’s hands holding his. Those huge, bloody hands. Hux almost cringed as he then remembered what had happened.

Ren had kissed his hand. 

Softly, and more than once. Hux found himself recalling how much he had liked the feeling of Ren’s lips on his skin and he closed his eyes as hard as he could. 

That should never have happened. 

This could not happen.

Hux felt an increasing sense of dread intermingle with the faint traces of longing he had felt then, as Ren loosened the grip on his arm, but still not letting go completely. 

“I have to go.” Hux said, pulling his arm away, a knot growing steadily in his stomach. “I have work to do.”

“We need to talk. About what happened last night.” Ren said, his voice so pleading that it made Hux want to punch him in the face. 

“There is nothing to talk about, Ren.” he said, 

“Please…Hux…” 

The combination of the word “please” and his own name, uttered by Ren in such an imploring way, was too much for Hux. 

“I don’t have time for this.” he said, turned around and hurried down the corridor before Ren could say or do anything else. 

Hux’s heart was racing and the knot in his stomach turned into a rock, sinking deeper and deeper into his guts. Countless aggravating questions scurried around in his head and there was one in particular that he simply couldn’t ignore, no matter how hard he tried:

Why did he suddenly feel this growing need to be close to Kylo Ren?

Hux spent the rest of the morning trying his best to focus on his duties. But he soon found that it proved to be an impossible task. During the morning meeting with his officers, Hux had to ask his second in command to repeat a question three times, and when the representative from the financial department mentioned the cost of Ren's latest rampage, Hux had almost choked on his caf. Luckily, it seemed as though everyone thought it was due to the amount of credits that had to be spent, rather than Kylo Ren's name being mentioned. 

Later, on the bridge, Hux had almost slapped one of the navigation officers for mispronouncing D'Qar twice, and after spending just five minutes listening to Mitaka's report about a malfunctioning aft ion cannon, Hux wasn't sure if he was going to break down laughing or crying.

By lunch time, Hux was on the verge of having a nervous collapse. Sitting alone at his usual table in the mess hall, desperately trying to scoop up some peas with his fork, Hux was finding it more and more difficult to stifle the manic laughter he felt building up inside him. He finally managed to get some of the peas to stay on the fork, and was just about to put it in his mouth when he heard someone clear their throat just behind him. 

Hux jolted so suddenly that the fork flew out of his hand and would have hit the floor if it hadn't been suspended in mid-air. Hux stared sheepishly at the fork as it floated past his face and landed gently on the table next to his plate. He kept staring at it until he heard a soft chuckle which made him spin around in his chair only to glare straight into Ren's eyes, gleaming with fondness and levity. 

Hux had never been so close to losing his mind as he was then, staring into Kylo Ren’s face. 

Why wasn't Ren wearing his helmet? He always had that damn thing on his head. Why had he suddenly taken it off? 

To his absolute horror, Hux saw Ren's face light up with a faint smile as soon as their eyes met, and he felt an increasing trepidation as he realized that this expression was not going to disappear. 

"I didn't mean to startle you." Ren said, his voice still so ridiculously soft that Hux wanted to scream out loud. 

"What do you want, Ren?" Hux growled, wanting nothing more than to whack Ren across the face with his lunch tray. 

Hux almost yelped as Ren pulled out the chair next to his and sat down beside him. By now, almost everyone in the mess hall had noticed what was going on and was doing their best not to stare, but Hux could still feel hundreds of eyes nervously darting  
between him and Ren. 

This did not seem to bother Ren at all as he folded both his arms on the table top and leaned forward, peering up at Hux, his black hair almost touching the table as he did so. 

"We really need to talk." Ren said, his voice deep and calm, but slightly trembling with something that Hux could only identify as anticipation.

"There's nothing to talk about." Hux said, straightening his back and keeping his eyes fixed on his plate. 

Ren let out a hollow laugh. "Oh, I think there is!" he said as he sat up straight to move his chair closer to Hux's. "Like all the things that happened last night, for example." 

Hux snorted. 

"I would hardly say that anything of significance happened last night, Ren." he said, giving Ren a condescending glance. "Except maybe for the fact that you decided to infringe on my privacy yet again." 

Hux found himself regretting every single word before he had even finished saying them, but it was too late. He heard Ren inhale sharply and he knew that the situation was only going to get worse from this point on. 

" 'Infringe on your privacy!?' " Ren spat, shock and hurt clearly visible in his eyes. "If I hadn't been there to take care of you, you would be lying flat on your face in that corridor, being swept up by some cleaning droid right about now!" 

Hux nearly fell of his chair as he furiously turned to face Ren, almost poking one of his eyes out with his index finger as he held it up in front of Ren's face in a cautionary gesture. 

"I strongly advise you to choose your next words very carefully, Ren." he snarled. "Because I'm not quite sure I like your tone."

"My tone!?” Ren sneered. “You didn't seem to have any problem with my 'tone' last night. Or my company, for that matter!"

By now, every single pair of eyes in the mess hall were fixed on Hux and Ren as they had both raised their voices considerably without realizing it. 

"Be careful, Ren. You're beginning to irritate me. Tremendously.” Hux hissed, his green eyes narrowing and his shoulders tensing up as he felt a paralyzing helplessness invading his mind, mixing with the anger that was already burning inside him. It was  
painfully obvious that he was losing control over the situation. 

"Oh, good!” Ren barked scornfully. “It's nice to hear that you’re actually capable of showing some form of human emotion without having to chug an entire distillery’s worth of alcohol first!"

Hux got up from his chair so forcefully that it fell over with a loud bang, the echo bouncing off the walls, but he was too infuriated to care. Ren stood up too, now towering slightly over Hux as he rose to his full height. Hux noticed how Ren’s body tensed up and how he clenched his fists so hard that they were shaking. But despite of the change in Ren’s posture Hux could see nothing of that change in his eyes, as they still gazed softly into his own but with a clear expression of sorrow in them. Hux moved closer to Ren in an attempt to gain the upper hand, but he couldn't help but thinking that doing this brought him almost as close to Ren as he had been the night before. Although, the reason for this proximity was entirely different now. 

"I am warning you, Ren." he said, trying his best to sound threatening, "I won't let you make a fool of me in front of my crew. Nothing happened last night that's worth mentioning at all, so I suggest that you walk away now, before you do something that you will come to regret."

A faint flicker of anguish lit up in Ren's eyes before they, to Hux’s great astonishment, began to fill up with tears. 

"How can you say that?!" Ren gasped as he desperately fought to regain his composure, "You can't honestly say that you didn't feel anything at all last night! That moment between us was real, and you know it! You felt the same things as I did. You wanted the same things as I did. As I still do, today. Anything else is a lie."

As he said this, one single tear rolled down Ren’s cheek and for one brief moment, all Hux wanted to do was to reach out and wipe that tear away. But he quickly suppressed that desire and replaced it with something that he was far more accustomed to. 

Contempt.

Hux's lip curled with despise before he spoke.

“You’re more delusional than I thought.” he scoffed. “And I have no interest what so ever in standing here listening to these absurdities, since I actually have important matters to tend to, unlike someone else we know.” 

For a fraction of a second, Hux thought that Ren was going to punch him right in the face, but instead he took one deep breath and let the air escape his lungs slowly. His voice was filled with restrained fury as he spoke. 

“You are the single most emotionally constipated asshole in the entire galaxy.” Ren almost whispered. “And I’m so relieved to have found out what an actual piece of shit you are before I wasted any more of my time on you.”

Hux glared at Ren, hating the fact that those words burned through his heart like a blaster bolt.

“Well then, as we are in the process of sharing our thoughts, you are the most overemotional, immature, vulgar and spoiled brat that I’ve ever had the misfortune of sharing oxygen with.” Hux retorted sharply, crouching like a predator ready to attack. 

“Then I guess that we have nothing more to say to each other.” Ren growled, the agony still visible in his hazel eyes. 

“That suits me perfectly!” Hux said, giving him a vicious glare.

Ren leaned forward, gritting his teeth. 

“Fine!”

“Fine.” 

For a moment they stood absolutely still, staring at each other. Then, before Hux had time to react, Ren turned on his heel and stormed out of the mess hall, simultaneously flipping over a table with the Force and sending five officers and their plates flying along with it. 

As soon as Ren had left the mess hall everyone turned around to stare at Hux, still standing by his table as stiff as a board. But Hux didn’t care about all of those eyes that were fixed on him, or that they felt like hundreds of knives stabbing him over and over. He didn’t care about the muffled whispers which could now be heard all around him. And he didn’t care about his heart beating so furiously in his chest that he thought it was going to rip him in half. 

He only cared about one thing. A single sentence, which was flowing into his mind like a tidal wave, merciless and uncontrollable.

Four words.

One question.

What have I done?

**Author's Note:**

> Just in case anyone's wondering: no, this is not the end.  
> I'm going to write a sequel to this one too, but for now I have to leave the  
> boys like this. I'm sorry, guys.  
> Although, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to make amends for this  
> by writing the next one. But we'll just have to wait and see. 
> 
> Also, I want to take the opportunity to thank all of you for reading, commenting and leaving kudos on  
> my fics! You're all so incredibly sweet and kind and the fact that you guys enjoy my writing and take the  
> time to let me know means the world to me!  
> This is without a doubt the best fandom that I've ever been a part of and I'm so inspired by all the things you guys create and share!  
> Thanks for all the love, my friends!  
> You guys are the reason I write.  
> You rock! <3 <3 <3


End file.
